dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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