Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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