last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
