she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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