I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
