puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
