Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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