his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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