i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
