Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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