HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
