this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
