If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
