his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
