I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
