please come you make the beer taste better
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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