I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am one with the molecules
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
