3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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