OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
