i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
