trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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