We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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