I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
