Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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