yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
