Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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