my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
