she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
