did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
