i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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