worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
