he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
