another moral hangover. fuck.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
