god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
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Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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