Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
