worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
