i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
As shirtless as possible
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
