just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
