Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
