Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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