dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
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what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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