i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
