my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
