You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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