btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize