i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
