Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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