Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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