You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
the raccoons are back...
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