its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
