Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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