If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
