I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize