He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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