idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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