I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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