you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize