Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
