It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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