We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
