one might say we're banned from that church
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
