Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
